I have the opportunity in several instances of working with young men who are nearing or who have already reached mission age. Many of these young men I would consider among my closest friends and I draw strength and encouragement from my association with them. I love them and sincerely desire the best of life for them.
In preparing for missions, I've increasingly found that a major concern for these youth is "How can I leave my family for that long? What if something happens to them while I am gone?" They are afraid of not being there to take care of those they love, or they fear missing out on a major life event—or worse, a death.
The Most Important Unit
There is no questioning the centrality of the family in the gospel, in the Plan of Salvation, or in the Church. The Church handbook itself makes amply clear that families are "the most important unit in time and in eternity" and that "strengthening families is the focus of inspired Church programs". The Proclamation to the World declares that "the family is central to the Creator’s plan". Indeed, it may be safe to say that a higher priority could not be placed on family among the Latter-day Saints.
Why then does the Lord ask us to leave our families for two years, perhaps even when they seem to be in the greatest need of our help? As with all things, our ways are not always the Lords ways (Isaiah 55:8), and no where is this more true than in the way we care for our families. My purpose in what follows is to share from my perspective some of the principles that we have been taught that help us to understand why our going on a mission is a critical part of His way of caring for and strengthening our families.
In treating this issue, I want to express that it is most assuredly a sensitive subject, and an area where I believe a great deal of respect is required for personal agency. I also wish it known that I do not speak ignorantly on this topic. My grandfather—one of my greatest mentors—passed away unexpectedly while I was on my mission. It was also a mission that kept my brother from attending my wedding. I will not hesitate to admit what sadness accompanied these events. But I have no regrets because of what I believe about the blessings that come when we heed the Lord's call.
God hath not given us the spirit of fear
The Lord's prophet has declared "that every worthy, able young man should prepare to serve a mission" (As We Meet Together Again, October 2010). He made no qualifications, no exemptions, no excuses. Every worthy, able young man. I suspect it is natural for many of us to experience some fear as we contemplate rising to such a challenge. Something in us cries out, "But you don't know my circumstances! How can you say such a thing? Can't you understand what could happen if I go on a mission?"
I believe that if he could hear you, President Monson might say something akin to what Paul said to Timothy regarding his mission call: "God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). We will usually find, I suspect, that acting from fear often, if not always, leads to unhappiness. Elder Quintin L. Cook gave a marvelous talk in October 2007 General Conference in which he stated, "When we choose to follow Christ in faith rather than choosing another path out of fear, we are blessed with a consequence that is consistent with our choice."
One of the greatest examples in my mind of this principle are the pioneers. I love the story about when Brigham Young left for his mission, even at a time when his family was facing nearly insurmountable challenges: "The Twelve, in obedience to the revelation, departed for their missions. Wilford Woodruff was so sick he could hardly stand on his feet. Heber C. Kimball wrote that Brigham Young was so sick that he was unable to walk a distance of 30 rods without assistance. He left his wife and children lying sick in bed. When he left home, Brigham Young was wearing a long quilt over his shoulders because he had no coat" (Earl C. Tingey, April 1998, Missionary Service).
What faith it must have taken to leave their families in such a condition! That in spite of impending suffering, they chose to have faith rather than to fear! "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9). So it was with those early pioneers and so it will be with us. When we keep the Lord's commandments, even that of serving a mission, the Lord is constrained to bless us and our families! If we do not, we have no promise (D&C 82:10).
Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven
We should be prepared to exercise faith to do good, even when we do not know all of the reasons why. However, in this particular case, I believe we can understand at least part of why the Lord is asking us to serve, even at the cost of leaving our families. It is because of the power that comes from sacrifice. From the Guide to the Scriptures: "Joseph Smith taught that 'a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.' In the eternal perspective, the blessings obtained by sacrifice are greater than anything that is given up" (Sacrifice).
The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. This faith is fundamental to being able to return to live with Heavenly Father. More important even than earning His blessings for ourselves and for our families while on earth is living in such a way as to merit His blessings for ourselves and for our families for eternity. The greatest blessings will require great sacrifice.
But If Not
Two of the most poignant talks I've heard in General Conference were both entitled "But If Not" (Dennis E. Simmons, April 2004; Lance B. Wickman, October 2002), both referring to the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. These three courageous young men were threatened by King Nebuchadnezzar that if they did not worship as he had commanded them to, they would be thrown into a furnace. This was their response: "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king." And then they added, "But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up" (Daniel 3:17-18).
In our days, I imagine these young men saying something like, "God can prosper our families and sustain their lives while I'm on a mission, far better in fact than we can." And then they would add, "But if not, we will yet serve our Heavenly Father." As Elder Wickman remarks, "Mortality’s supreme test is to face the 'why' and then let it go, trusting humbly in the Lord’s promise that 'all things must come to pass in their time.'"
I cannot promise my friends that all of their fears will not come true while they are on a mission. I hope and pray that they and their families will be temporally sustained and protected. But if not, I believe that their sacrifice and their faith will reap for them and their families spiritual and eternal blessings to more than compensate for their losses.
Do Your Duty, That is Best
There are two statements from President Monson that I love which to me act as both a call to action and a reassurance of the Lord's blessings. In a magnificent talk given in April 2012, President Monson shared what is one of his favorite adages and which has since become one of mine: "Do your duty, that is best. Leave unto the Lord the rest." Regardless of what concerns we may have about our abilities, it is our willingness to serve that allows the Lord bring about His purposes, namely our spiritual and eternal happiness.
At the closing of the April 2010 General Conference, President Monson quoted Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." And then President Monson added, "That has been the story of my life." I felt the power of those words. I can think of no greater claim that a man or woman can make.
Conclusion
I would say to my young friends who are approaching mission age, do not delay. Yes, be sure you are ready. Yes, be sure that it is your decision to go. But do not delay going on a mission any longer than you absolutely must. The costs may be more than you and your family can afford.
Elder Uchtdorf in October 2013 spoke on the importance of acting now. He issued an amazing promise:
"We acknowledge that your path will at times be difficult. But I give you this promise in the name of the Lord: rise up and follow in the footsteps of our Redeemer and Savior, and one day you will look back and be filled with eternal gratitude that you chose to trust the Atonement and its power to lift you up and give you strength...
"Your destiny is a glorious one! Stand tall and walk in the light of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ! You are stronger than you realize. You are more capable than you can imagine. You can do it now!"
